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I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to judge meditation within a negative emotional charge, not seeing, realizing and understanding that I’ve actually judged myself for the things that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to participate in my past, the things that I now see, realize and understand that had only benefited me within my own self interest delusional mind and through judging Meditation I distracted myself from facing the Practical correction because, so long as I judge, I still allowing my mind to be the directive principle instead of utilizing the Principle: Investigate all points and keep that which is best for all. Within that context, Breathing exercise as a self support tool can and should be utilized within a clear and directive starting point in assisting and supporting oneself to Bring oneself back to one’s own physical body, where one could, in breath, assess, check and investigate oneself until eventually, Breathing becomes one’s Directive Principle in any given moment.
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to associate and connect Breathing with Meditation and since I’ve Judged meditation as wrong, I sabotaged and compromised myself in not gifting myself the opportunity to assist and support myself in any given moment, to simply Breathe, Be here, within and as my human physical body in alignment to the Movement that Life is.
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to spiritualize Breathing and within that create an Experiences that would be aligned with the Spiritual Programs that I’ve created within and as myself. Within this, I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to fear having Spiritual Experiences as it indicate that I accepted and allowed my mind to take over the moment. In this, I forgive myself that I’ve not accepted and allowed myself to realize that it is useless to try and suppress that which exists within and as me and rather, if a Spiritual experience emerge from within and as me, it is cool, because then, I’m able to assist and support myself to release myself from the entity that I’ve created within and as myself through going to the draw board to investigate what I’ve not seen and sorted out within and as myself and accordingly, take self responsibility and correct the point within and as myself.
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to define myself as inadequate when and as a Spiritual Experience emerge from within and as me, as if I have done something terribly wrong, not seeing, realizing and understanding that I should simply see it as it is, another window of opportunity to sort out that which was already existent within and as me. In this, I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that if I react to the Spiritual Program that I’ve inserted and program myself, I create another experience, another entity and thus, only prolong my process instead of Quantified my process in walking through each and every point that reveal itself here, stand in stability and in self trust that I have all that I require for, to assist and support me to step out of mind experience and step into the Physical reality as an Expression of myself.
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to NOT realize that I’ve judged the Spiritual Experience that I had created within and as myself, because I’ve defined myself as More than a spiritual person, utilizing the Knowledge and information that I have, to justify for myself, why I am MORE than another. Within this, I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to want, need and desire to define myself as MORE than a spiritual person and within that suppress that which I’ve program myself to exists as, while I was myself a spiritual person, not seeing, realizing and understanding that the Program still exists within and as me, till I, as the directive principle, take the responsibility and release myself from the systems and programs that I’ve inserted and stored within and as myself with practical Self Forgiveness Process, in taking self responsibility for my own acceptance and allowances and change myself, immediately, within and as Breath.
I commit myself to assist and support myself in practicing my Breathing application as a directive principle through which I expand my application to align with the movement that Life exists within and as till in every step, in every moment, I am Here, in and as Breath.
I commit myself to assist and support myself to – when and as a Spiritual Experience is emerging from within and as me, to Stop, to Breathe and to see where I’m not aligned and clear within and as myself and in that, to investigate the source/core/origin of the Experience and accordingly, to take Self Responsibility and, correct my physical living application and change.
I commit myself to STOP the internal and external friction and conflict within and as myself, within the context of Spirituality as I now see, realize and understand that I have a process to walk, in writing, regarding my self definition and relationship with Spirituality as points opened up within this blog that I must take responsibility for and direct and accordingly correct within and as myself.
Recently I’ve been Practicing Breathing more consistently and specifically before and during setting my body to a rest. I found an interesting point – how my tendency or shall I say, my Automated tendency is to Spiritualize such moments. Let me explain.
I came to Desteni from a spiritual background where I used to meditate often to “Connect” with my guides and my spiritual Masters through the belief that Meditation is the key to MY Enlightenment. Breathing and Meditating became a momentary escape from myself and the noises that went on in my mind. However, when I realized that none of my beliefs are in any way practical and aligned with the Principle of that which is best for all, I stopped meditating however, I haven’t sorted out yet my relationship with meditation as I’ve created it within and as myself through a process of Self Forgiveness.
Commonsensically, if one would look within and as oneself, one would see clearly that one’s starting point within meditation or any Spiritual practice for that matter is based on one’s self interest. For myself, my Self interest was to be prepared for 2012 Ascension day where I would transcend and go up to another dimension while the abuse, suffering, pain, war, etc. would continue on earth within the Self-Justification that these people need to learn their lesson and I shouldn’t concern myself with them as it is part of the greater plan.
What I haven’t realized about Meditation back then is that Meditation as a tool is not applicable since Life, Reality, is in Motion, it is always in a Movement and what worth does Meditation has if once one get up from one’s comfortable cushion, one steps back to one’s mind as backchat, internal conversations, reactions, emotions and feelings without even being aware of all of these.
What I also haven’t realized back then is that Mediation from a starting point of MY own Enlightenment while abuse, suffering, war, crime, starvation, etc. is still allowed in this world, isn’t acceptable within and as the principle of Equality and oneness and no matter how one would justify it for oneself, it is all that it is, a justification that one would use to not take responsibility for this world as a whole as one had protected one’s ass, sitting on a cushion with the sufficient funds that would allow one to take a momentary break from this reality and sit to meditate.
The last point I haven’t realized back then was that if the Guides and the Spiritual Masters were so Enlighten then why didn’t they come with a clear, direct and applicable solution for humanity as a whole? Why their messages are always within the same context, to elevate one’s Ego through utilizing good and positive words while the world is nothing but Positive?
Ok, so recently, and specifically after listening to the Atlanteans interviews:
I have started to be more diligent and specific before I set myself to sleep where I focus on Breathing, on my awareness to my physical body, clearing myself from the past day through looking at all the points that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to participate with as reactions, back chats, internal conversations, emotions and feelings, in separation of me. And accordingly, aligning myself, apply Self Forgiveness and give myself correction/instructions in how I would assist and support myself to correct my living application from Mind Participation to Physical Consideration.
Unlike meditation, my starting point wasn’t to reach a certain point of Enlightenment, that would make me feel special and more than within and as myself. My starting point is very clear – I see, realize and understand that so long as I had accepted and allowed myself to participate throughout the day, within my mind, I accepted and allowed myself to accumulate and generate Energy that my mind would use to recharge the Mind systems that would functions in the background and decide for me who I am in every moment. And so, once that is done, my body can fully Rest. (Here, I suggest to study the Quantum Mind – Self Awareness)
In the first night, I’ve noticed that I still accepting and allowing myself to spiritualize these moments of simply Breathing, being here, practicing and expanding my awareness as Experiences started to kicks in within and as myself like for instance, I felt that my head was on the pillow while the rest of the body is floating – obviously that is not so as I was here, physically, on the bed and nothing floated. So I stopped, I breathed, I didn’t accept and allow myself to follow this experience because I know that this experience is based on Energy, Energy is programmable and I was the one who programmed this Experience a few years back when practicing Meditation. Another example was when I set down on my bed, still breathing and I felt as if I’m stepping out of my body, just for a tiny moment. I then stopped, Breathe because I realized that I’m in my body, equal and one and that the feeling of stepping out of the body is an Experience that I’ve programmed within and as myself, within and as the Desire to be MORE than who I really am.
It is very easy to fall into such experiences because it feels nice, it feels like we are More than who we really are but the fact of the matter is, that we are not. All that it is, in an Energetic Experience that do not have any practical foundation in becoming an Effective Human beings in this world that would direct, move themselves within each and every breath, through and as ONE principle – what is best for all Lives.
So, in my next blog to come, I will walk the Self Forgiveness Process to assist and support myself to delete the Spiritual association/connection that I’ve assigned to Breathing so that I could Breathe, as WHO I am HERE, within and as THIS physical reality as I see, realize and understand that so long as I accept and allow myself to exists within and as Mind Systems that had absolute control over me, through the Energy that I generate within any thought, reaction, emotions, feelings, etc. I would not Stand within and as Absolute physical Equality and Oneness and unless that is done, I won’t see the Physical Reality Directly, within all the Particles that forms the Relationships that Life Consists of and Exists as and therefor, won’t be able to stand in absolute self trust and stability in directing every thing that require to manifest a world that is best for all, in practical equal and one manner.